Much of my life I spent alone, weather by choice or by chance, either way, I’ve come to terms that I am a solitary soul. From an early part of life, I’ve come to know that music was one way to soothe my emotions. It was one way for me to express myself, to be able to cry the tears that needed crying, to laugh, sing, and dance to the tune that my heart was singing. I can still remember where I was, what I was doing, and what I was feeling during every one of the times I was getting over one of my ex’s. Each one is a musical symphony, a Corus of song and lyrics. Over the past few months a number of songs have been present, but none has spoken more powerful to me than the following:

*** Shape Of My Heart

He deals the cards as a meditation
And those he plays never suspect
He doesn't play for the money he wins
He doesn't play for the respect
He deals the cards to find the answer
The sacred geometry of chance
The hidden law of probable outcome
The numbers lead a dance

I know that the spades are the swords of a soldier
I know that the clubs are weapons of war
I know that diamonds mean money for this art
But that's not the shape of my heart

He may play the jack of diamonds
He may lay the queen of spades
He may conceal a king in his hand
While the memory of it fades

I know that the spades are the swords of a soldier
I know that the clubs are weapons of war
I know that diamonds mean money for this art
But that's not the shape of my heart
That's not the shape, the shape of my heart

And if I told you that I loved you
You'd maybe think there's something wrong
I'm not a man of too many faces
The mask I wear is one
Those who speak know nothing
And find out to their cost
Like those who curse their luck in too many places
And those who fear are lost

I know that the spades are the swords of a soldier
I know that the clubs are weapons of war
I know that diamonds mean money for this art
But that's not the shape of my heart
That's not the shape of my heart